Bozo Criminal of the Day!

[Tom S]

..... I was typing things on my 'puter & copy/pasting them in my posts. This site don't like copy/paste apostrophes. Before I paste text in here now I first replace any apostrophes with a comma so I know where to replace the comma with this site's apostrophe. ....

^^ 2 weeks ago. 

[mustang6984]

That Was a Real Hot Shot

Our bozo for today may not have done anything criminal but his bozo status is unquestioned. His kids were coming over to visit and he didn't want them to have access to his revolver, so he did what any bozo would do...he put it in the oven for safekeeping. Good idea? Not. He failed to tell his girlfriend and when she started preheating the oven for dinner the gun quickly overheated and...Bang! One gunshot quickly followed by several others. Fortunately no one was injured but the oven was declared a total loss. The cops were called and our bozo was advised to buy a gun safe.

[CobraJoe]

[mustang6984]

Looks like it also does not like the ... that was in the original. Phooey!

[mustang6984]

Well, Baked Beans Are a Very Popular English Dish

Longtime bozo fans may remember a similar story from the US a couple of years back, but apparently our bozo friends didn't learn from the previous bozo's mistake. From Harworth in England's East Midlands comes today's story. Officers went to a residence with a warrant and two bozos quickly fled into the nearby woods. As they were conducting a search, one of the officers heard a familiar sound. Someone letting one rip in a nearby bush. Yep, he just couldn't hold that fart in one second longer. The cop, with a nose for such things, tracked him down and quickly placed him under arrest. His less gassy accomplice was found later hiding behind a fireplace.

[mustang6984]

But Look How Many Likes I Got!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today's report which once again proves that bozos and social media don't mix. From Moses Lake, Washington, comes the story of bozo Kayla Gomez who was a passenger in a car that was pulled over by the cops. The driver was arrested for driving with a suspended license, but the cops had no reason to hold our bozo so she was released. Later, while searching the car, the cops found a purse containing our bozo's ID, heroin, a pistol, and paperwork for the last time she was released from jail. But, still, there was no way to absolutely prove that the purse belonged to her, so case closed, right? Wrong. Our bozo went straight to her Facebook account and proceed to brag about how she had escaped arrest. The cops saw the post and set up a meeting on social media. And of course she showed up. She's busted!

[mustang6984]

Just Be Really Careful Climbing Up Onto That Seat

We here at the Bozo Report are fully aware that these have been very stressful times. And all this stress has led some folks who might not ordinarily do such things to come over to the Bozo side. Such is the case today from the International File in Frome, Somerset, England. Our bozo, who is only identified as "Dave" had a rather momentous birthday approaching. And, during the Covid-19 lockdown, how do you celebrate? Well, if you're "Dave" you strip off all your clothes and go for a naked bicycle ride through the neighborhood. Taking all things into consideration, the cops decided to let him off with a warning. Happy Birthday, Dave!

[Ford Blue blood]

Well at least he had his birthday suit on......

[mustang6984]

Dressed for action!!!

[mustang6984]

No, Wait, That's Not Me...It Only LOOKS Like Me!

Bozo criminal for today comes from Royal Palm Beach, Florida where bozo John Cox was involved in a traffic accident. He told the cops it was not his fault, that he had been cut off by another driver and he could prove it with footage from his dashboard camera. He then agreed to sign a consent form allowing the police to take a look at what was on his camera. Guess he had forgotten all about when he recorded himself burglarizing a jewelry store, taking the bat from his trunk and smashing the store's window. Oops. He's been charged with burglary. No word on whether he got off on the traffic incident charge.

[mustang6984]

You just cannot make this stuff up!!!
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Next Time Maybe Just Call Him On the Phone

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Howard Rost for sending in today's report from Niagara County, New York where bozo Sharon Wilson wanted to go visit her boyfriend in jail but had no car. No problem. Call Uber right? Wrong. Ask a friend for a ride? Nope. Steal a car and drive yourself? Sure. Things were going smoothly as she drove to the jail and parked without incident. It was when she decided to leave that her true bozo tendencies came out. She started driving recklessly around the jail parking lot which got the attention of the sheriffs. She fled the lot with the cops in hot pursuit, leading them on a high speed chase before finally being stopped in the city of Lockport when she hit a police car head-on. She is charged with possession of stolen property, reckless endangerment, fleeing a police officer, trespass, reckless driving and imprudent speed. The good news is she won't have to drive far to visit her boyfriend next time.

[mustang6984]

Drop the Eggs and Step Away From the Building

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today's report from Idaho Falls, Idaho where cops were called to a report of a disturbance outside a local coffee shop. When they arrived they found bozo Jacob Carter standing outside, smashing eggs on his head and smearing the mess on the windows of the coffee shop. Witnesses reported that prior to the egg incident, our bozo was seen playing hopscotch in the middle of an intersection, blocking all four lanes of traffic. He was arrested without incident, hosed down and taken to jail.

[mustang6984]

From the Forrest Gump files...(stupid is as...well....you know...)
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On Second Thought, Maybe He Should Have Just Tied Him Up

Bozo criminal for today comes from Houston, Texas where our unidentified bozo broke into a residence, attacked the homeowner and forced him into a closet while he ransacked the house. Sounds like a reasonable idea except for one small item. This particular closet happened to be the one where the homeowner kept his gun. He emerged, confronted our bozo and shot him in the shoulder and leg. Our bozo was arrested and sent to the hospital.

[mustang6984]

Put Down That, Uh, Sausage, And Step Away From the Counter

Bozo criminal for today comes from Powell, Tennessee where bozo Jalen Cook wanted a bottle of water. So he headed down to the convenience store to pick one up. Nothing unusual about that right? Did we mention he walked into the store totally naked? And that he walked out without paying? But he wasn't done. For reasons known only to the Bozo Mind, he returned to the store and began knocking items off the shelf. He then grabbed sausages off the grill and began throwing them at the cashier. The cops were called and our bozo was stunned and placed under arrest. He's charged with assault with a meaty weapon.

[mustang6984]

Well, I Mean What DO You Do With a Fake Arm?

Bozo criminals for today come from Grass Valley, California, where the cops pulled over a car for driving erratically. Inside, the officer saw three bozos and in the back seat one rather unusual item. A prosthetic arm. Well, that's not something you see every day and the officer thought he remembered such an arm as being reported stolen recently. After the arm was identified as the stolen one, our bozos were booked on charges of suspected burglary.