Bozo Criminal of the Day!

[mustang6984]

Because one can never have enough to laugh at...I thought I would resurrect a bit of humor I used to do back in my old radio days. Share the stupidity of people who wander amongst us...and make us ask where their brains are!
So...welcome to the Bozo Criminal of the Day. I'll try to get a new one in each day for all to laugh with or at...or maybe both. I have decades of these to draw on...so doubt I'll run out any time in the next 30-40 years! Here is the first one:

Now That's What I Call a Bust

Bozo criminal for today comes from Grand Ridge, Florida, where a deputy stopped to help our bozo whose car had broken down on the side of the road. The observant officer noticed a strong smell of marijuana emanating from our bozo and a quick search turned up a marijuana cigarette...in her bra. This discovery led to a search of the car which turned up half a pound of crystal methamphetamine, additional quantities of marijuana packaged for sale, scales, and US currency. BUSTed! Charged with trafficking in a controlled substance and possession of marijuana with intent to distribute.

[mustang6984]

Okay...I am wondering...would this be a certain member of a certain website dedicated to a specific Ford that rigged this little "clean-up"? AHEM! 
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The Crooks Were Cleaning Up, So He Did the Same Thing

Bozo criminal for today comes from Porterville, California, where there have been a number of residential thefts. After security lights failed to deter the thieves, who were "stealing tools out of vehicles and anything else they could get their hands on", one resident took matters into his own hands. He went on Amazon and ordered the most powerful sprinkler head he could find. He then rigged it up to a motion detector device that would trigger a strong jet of water whenever anyone came nearby. Worked like a charm. Security camera footage shows our bozo pedaling away on his bicycle after being hit by the stream of water.

[mustang6984]

Flaming Hot Bozo

Our bozo for today comes from Kalamazoo, Michigan, where cops received a call regarding a disturbance at a residence. When they arrived, our bozo had already left, but he was familiar to police from previous warrants against him. Cops were on the lookout and when he was spotted a short time later, a chase ensued through residential streets. When he pulled onto I-94, spikes were set up to stop him. Didn't work. He ran over the strips, getting flat tires in the process, but he kept going. What he didn't account for was that the friction of the flat tire caused the one on the right front wheel to burst into flames. So, now, what's a bozo to do? Pull into the nearest Nissan dealer for service. Yep, that's what he did. He was placed under arrest. No word on the fate of the tire.

[mustang6984]

They're Lucky They Weren't Charged With Littering, Also

Bozo criminals for today from Clearwater, Florida, had their big heist of the local CVS planned out to the last detail...well, except for one thing. Here's how it played out. Surveillance camera footage shows one of our bozos casing out the drugstore the day before the robbery. Check. On the big day, our three bozos burst in at 5 am when the store wasn't busy. Check. They wore blue surgical gloves so as not to leave prints. Check. They waved guns at employees and then bound them with zip ties. Check. They then whipped out white garbage bags and filled them with a massive amount of drugs. More than 10,000 hydrocodone and oxycodone pills, valued at more than $320,000. Check and done! Well, not quite. For reasons known only to the bozo mind, as they sped away, they were taking the pills out of their bottles and tossing the bottles out the car window. Police officers literally followed the trail of empty bottles like bread crumbs and it lead straight to a residence, where they found our bozos, and the thousands of pills, inside. Busted!

[mustang6984]

OK. Now I'm In the Ceiling. What Next?

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today's report from Montgomery, Ohio, where bozo Jessica Cain was being held on charges of assaulting and robbing an 85 year-old man she met at a casino. Security footage shows our bozo moving some chairs around in the jail facility and climbing up into the ceiling as other inmates cheered her on. Her freedom only lasted about 15 seconds before the ceiling gave way and our bozo unceremoniously crash landed in a trash can. She's now looking at new charges of escape and destruction of property.

[mustang6984]

You just cannot make up some of these things people do...no sane person could ever dream these things up!
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And the Funny Thing Is, He Actually Did More Work Than the Real Employees

Our bozo for today from Butler County, Pennsylvania, was faced with a problem. Her boyfriend was in jail and needed extra money, so what to do? Simple, hire him to go to work for Long John Silver's. Turns out she was an area manager for the restaurant chain and could hire and fire employees. Figuring no one would ever notice, she simply added him to the payroll and had sent him more than $50,000 in wages before someone tipped off the cops. She's under arrest.

[mustang6984]

First Red Flag: She Had To Pick HIM Up At His Parents House

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today's report from North Attleboro, Massachusetts. Bozo Christopher Carson met a woman on a dating app and, for their first date, asked her to come pick him up at his parents house. Seemed a little strange but she complied. He then drank wine in the passenger's seat while she drove around. When they approached a bank, he asked her to pull in and he went inside. Before entering, he donned a hat and sunglasses and then robbed the teller, getting away with $1000. He jumped back in the car and told her to step on it. Panicking, she did as she was told. They didn't get far before the cops were on their tail. She immediately pulled over and surrendered. Our bozo was arrested. She was not charged. Worst first date ever!

[mustang6984]

The Family That Drinks Together, Stays Together

Bozo criminals for today come from Naples Florida. It seems our husband and wife team had enjoyed a few drinks too many at The Dock at Crayton Cove bar. When the woman put her feet up on the bar, revealing that she was wearing no underwear, the bartender had seen enough. He told them to leave or he was going to call the cops. That's when Miss No Panties replied, "I don't have to go anywhere because my dad is the chief of police." We're not sure if that is true or not, but when the cops arrived, she remained argumentative. That's when her husband asked the officer, "will you just walk my wife up to our room and sing her a silly song and lullaby?" The cop denied that request and as he was hauling her out, her husband said, "if she is going, I want to go too," That's a request the cop was glad to honor. They both slept it off in jail.

[mustang6984]

The Key To Cracking the Case

Bozo criminal for today comes from Warwick, Rhode Island, where the cops were called to a Hobby Lobby store on a report of lost keys...but found something else. Here's how the story played out. Bozo Karen Schaffer called Hobby Lobby to say she thought she'd left her keys there and could they please check and see if anyone had found them. The manager reviewed security footage and discovered the woman who had left her keys was someone he had suspected of shoplifting earlier, and he was able to confirm the theft while looking at the tape. Oops. The cops were called and our bozo gave up 19 pieces of jewelry that she had hidden in her sweatshirt, coat and bag. She was charged with theft and also on violation of her bail.

[mustang6984]

I sure hope she wasn't driving a '57 Ford!!!
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But You Don't Understand...My Boss Gets Really Mad When I'm Late

Bozo criminal for today comes from Cleveland, Ohio, where the cops tried to pull bozo Imani Foster over on charges of illegal window tint and a fake vehicle registration. Instead of stopping, our bozo sped up and led the officers on a chase down I-77, crashing into several police cruisers. At one point, the cops surrounded the car, demanding that she exit the vehicle. Instead, she floored it, running into other cars in the process and barely missing an officer. She was finally apprehended when she hit a curb and then crashed into a light pole. Shaken up, but not harmed, she then offered up the Bozo Excuse of the Week. She was speeding and refused to stop because she was "on my way to work." She's going to be late today. She's been charged with felonious assault and failure to comply.

[KYBlueOval]

Why do I see these strange looking letters and what I'll call a Trade Mark Sign in your posts? Am I the only one seeing these?
On your most recent post.........But you don't understand My boss gets really mad when I'm late ............  looks like this when I look at it

But You Don't Understand...My Boss Gets Really Mad When I'm Late

John

[Ford Blue blood]

I see the same thing......

[RICH MUISE]

not me

[rmk57]

 I also get it. When rovohn and Jeff. Norwell posts I also see it. The C with slashes through it is the Euro currency symbol isn't it?

[mustang6984]

I have no idea. I don't see anything but the text. Now I am confused...and don't know what to do or what to fix.