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ok, Married/attached guys.

Started by sprink88, 2012-10-22 18:26

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sprink88

If your significant other jealous of your relationship with your car? I mean my wife likes my car, but has come to a point where she cringes when I start it up, and cannnot wait until winter. I invite her to come outside and sit and talk with me when I am working on my car, and I tell her I don't work on it every day either. And I did miss a few car shows this summer. I COULD have been away every Saturday and a few Sundays too. But my main show is every other Saturday. I would be gone from 2:30pm till 11 pm. I asked her if she would come. I am trying.

Or is it just me?
~Chris

JimNolan

I've got to tell you my secret to having a significant other get interested in what you do. Face it, no body likes sitting at a car show for 6-8 hrs. in the sun waiting for a bunch of $5.00 plaques to be given away. I don't either. I've got guys I go to shows with and can talk to during the event. Pick friends that bring their wives so she'll have someone to talk to. And, you could go one step farther like I did and get her a car to take to the show herself. My girlfriend cleans on the damn thing and is tickled to death to get a $5.00 plaque and is beginning to get upset when she thinks she has beat another car but didn't get a plaque. Go figure. Jim
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

sprink88

I did forget to add. The group of guys I go with all bring there wives/girlfriends. And they all get along. The main show we go to is a cruise-in. There are no plaques, but a lot of cars, and people talking cars stuff. Hmm, maybe a car for her would work?
~Chris

suede57ford

My wife likes going to the shows and socializes with all the local friends we have made.  See always makes all the hotel arrangements for both Goodguys and the Tulsa Shelby meet every year.  We already talkning about next years Power Tour withthe RanchWagon.

I was lucky she has an interest in my hobby.   I try to not burn her out on it though.   I don't have her hang out when I am in the shop, as she gets bored just watching me work, and I don't expect her to do any tough labor.   Now, she will clean up her own car and detail it when it comes time to go the the show and when she get there.  She has made passes on the drag strip a few times as well.

We each take a car to most of the local shows.  She has a red '69 Mach1 with 428cj/4spd and I drive my '57 sedan.  I do all the mechanical work to keep everything in working order, so we always have a couple ready to go.  Last summer she bought a '69 Bronco with a injected 5.0.  She drove it a bunch at first, but had to stop last winter when she got pregnant with kid #2.

She is proud of our collection, and supports me collecting and maintaing our fleet.  I have to be careful and not overdo it, as I am obscessed with cars.

On weekends, she knows I will be working in the shop part of the day as if it was my job.   To keep progressing on our projects I have to be really focused on my spare time and get work done.   I also make a major effort to spend time when she needs me as well.

Now that we have two small children, I am trying to really do the family thing and do all my work when the kids are in bed.  A few hours of work a couple nights a week and I get a bunch done still.

It's all about balance of time and her understanding how important my hobby and making progress is to me. 
I realize how lucky I am and try not to force it on her or take advantage of my freedom.
57 2dr Sedan, Black,VR57 Supercharged Y-block
57 T-bird, 460 C6
57 Ranchwagon, 5.0 AOD
57 Ranchero, VR57 Supercharged
57 Courier Delivery, 460 C6
57 2dr Sedan, Red/White
69 Mach1 428 R-Code
69 Talladega 428
69 Bronco 5.0
70 Torino Cobra SCJ 4spd,4:30 Drag Pak
34 Ford P.U. 427 Ford, 2-4s
69 Boss 429

Ford Blue blood

Have the car money seperate from the family money and never let the two mingle. 

She loves car shows and meeting new people, makes the hotel reservations.

Don't ask her to clean ANYTHING.

It is my only hobby, don't hunt, fish, play golf or hang out "with the boys" at the bar.  If I am not in the house doing house stuff I am in the shop working on something or in the yard doing yard stuff.

She knew what she was getting into because our first date was in my yet to be completed 36 Chevy street rod, the second was in my "just returned to the street" from SCCA B sedan Boss 302 Mustang and the third date was in my 73 F-100 with a trailer behind it to pick up a car (53 Corvette) for a friend.  The kids grew up in the 36 going to rod runs and often the family vacation included a rod run enroute or on the return leg.  AND the biggie, she drove the car to several rod runs with the kids while I was under way and/or deployed so they are OUR cars, not just mine.
Certfied Ford nut, Bill
2016 F150 XLT Sport
2016 Focus (wife's car)
2008 Shelby GT500
57 Ranchero
36 Chevy 351C/FMX/8"/M II

JPotter57

Sprink, I think it is pretty universal, with the few, rare exceptions.  My wife doesn't like my car, or anything to do with it.  I spent a lot of money on my last one, this one, not really as much.  The thing about me and car events, unless I am participating, I'm not really interested.  I went to Columbus this year, because I missed it.  I found that going without my car, as in the past,, while fun, was not nearly as fun as taking a car, even an unfinished one.  I don't particularly care about the static shows, etc.  I love racing, and I love driving events like Power Tour and Cruisin the Coast.  If I am going to participate, I want the car to be at least presentable, and run decent.  Most women feel they have to compete with everything for your attention, and they dont really know how to compete with an inanimate object like a car.  They dont understand, that some of us just like to work on things, to build, to make, to create.  Some of us like it a lot.  Some of us would rather work on the car than eat.  I know when my wife was away at her mother's taking care of her for 4 or 5 months, I obviously had to stay here and work.  I lost weight because I stayed in the garage, every day after work, sometimes until 1 or 2 am.  I dont do that now, as I have a couple boys in cub scouts and a couple in boy scouts, plus any number of other things.  Putting together a new fuel injected 5.0 for the unibody truck, keeping the maintenance up on my house and yard, etc.  I try to balance, but every now and then, and you can tell, I NEED to get in the garage.  She can't seem to see that it is a real need, as real as needing to eat or sleep.  Pat, I believe I have what you would call an obsession too.  I have gone out and worked on her van or suburban, just to have something to work on before.  That really baffles people, lol.  I'm a gearhead, what can I say?
1957 Ford Custom 427 2x4 4 spd
Old, loud, and fast.

glen b henderson

I am like Bill, don't hunt, fish, golf, hang at bars or chase wild women any more. I worked 7 to 5 for almost 45 yrs. I knew that when I retired I had to have something other than a TV to occupy my time and mind. My wife lets me do my thing and although she does not like setting out in the the sun all day at a show or race, she enjoys talking with the other girls there. The other thing that Bill said that I agree with, is that car money has too be a separate pot and the two cannot mix.
Freedom is not Free

57 Ford Kustom

Hi guy's
   I love my wife, I love my car, but my car doesn't do my laundry, get my dinner, or given me four great kid's. Which has resulted in two beautiful grand kids! I agree with you guy's, it's all about balance. Get what you need to get done, but make sure you let her know how special she is! Let's face it guy's we are who we are because of them. My situation is different than most, I inherited my car. My wife encourages me to work on it with our boy's, because it was there grandpa's. So our car is more of a heritage than a hobby.i can see though how easy it is to get sucked into the garage vortex though, but my cut off point is dinner time. I hope you guy's have a safe day!
Thanks,
Tim :unitedstates:
aka:Bluedot Kid 2
To fast to live, to young to die.

JPotter57

Dont get me wrong Tim.  I dont spend every free moment at home in the garage.  I am lucky if I spend 3-4 hours per week, cumulative.  I dont drink, smoke, do drugs, go anywhere, do anything.  Im not complaining because I love my wife.  She knew I was a car guy before she married me.  She will tell you that, followed by "I didnt know you were obsessed though", lol.  I guess she feels like men should get all the satisfaction and happiness they need from their wife and kids, and shouldnt need anything else. 
1957 Ford Custom 427 2x4 4 spd
Old, loud, and fast.

Ford Blue blood

Quote from: JPotter57 on 2012-10-23 07:35
I guess she feels like men should get all the satisfaction and happiness they need from their wife and kids, and shouldnt need anything else. 

One of the great curiosities of life....it is my opinion that we men need job satisfaction first...our wife/significant other would like the "happy home" to be the center of happiness....why this is will continue to be debated and those of us that have sustained a long term relationship are no closer to an answer then those shrinks out there that would have us believe they have the answer.

Enouph philosophy....as has been said, balance is the key.
Certfied Ford nut, Bill
2016 F150 XLT Sport
2016 Focus (wife's car)
2008 Shelby GT500
57 Ranchero
36 Chevy 351C/FMX/8"/M II

JPotter57

#10
Agreed....see below, and no, she did not find it amusing, lol.
1957 Ford Custom 427 2x4 4 spd
Old, loud, and fast.

gasman826

As different and X and Y.  In generalized terms, men fix and women share. 

Amy is a 'drama queen'.  Doesn't care much for the car show sit around thing (nor do I).  Power Tour...all in!  Going down the road, loud pedal activated, we feel like kids again!  People wave...Amy thinks they are waving at her...I think they are waving at the car.  It's a draw and I leave it alone.

RICH MUISE

#12
definetly a balance. I'm retired and my wife still works and pays the bills so I can have my retirement money as my "pocket money". She does this because she doesn't want me to work. It's a lot easier on her to have someone to take care of the house and run errands, etc. She wants me to be happy doing this, so she wants me do my car thing as well. My problem is I don't multi-task very well any more, at least as far as major projects.This translates to focussing in on a project and staying with it till it's done, or I've had enough. Therefore, I'll work in my garage for weeks at a time, then take a break from it and focus on a house project for a few weeks (or months as it is right now). My wife can tell when I'm getting stressed working on a house project, and will usually tell me it's time to work on my car for a while.
I admittedly have always been notorious for not finishing a project, and my wife...of course well aware of this...has always been a little leary of the car being one of those not getting finished, also knowing how much money I've thrown at it in the last 6 years wants to see it done. Also getting paint on it finally last year made the project a whole lot more appealing to her.
By the way, we just had our 23rd anniversary last week..and we both forgot it! Connie is the second woman I had a 23rd anniversary with, but she'll be the first to share a 24th. I've been legally single for a grand total of one day since 1969.
I can do this, I can do this, I, well, maybe

Limey57

Don't have a joint bank account.  Don't fill in the details on cheque book stubs.  Don't leave reciepts for car-parts lying around.  My wife doesn't mind my fixation with 50's & 60's American iron, but she wil never understand the attraction to restoring old cars when we each have a new car sitting in the driveway!
Gary

1957 Ranchero

sprink88

Thanks guys. I will have to do the keep money separate. But I think one big thing is, her obsession is photography. She is TRYING to start it as a business and I am trying to help as much as can. Support and financial. What I think is bugging her is one, her partner flaked out on her and took a couple lenses that belonged to the company and stopped their paypal account because she was tied into another that is in the rears and hasn't done anything to help that. Then secondly, after being in open for a year, she had to put the company on hiatus, and had 3 back surgeries. Healing is better on this one, but she cannot get into crazed positions to get "that one shot" yet. But plans on coming back strong for next year. So it must be a little that she cannot do what she loves either. YET
~Chris